Bathe, check homework, kiss forehead, dress, soothe spirit, discipline, remind of power, express love, read story, give the side eye, hold hand, kiss belly. REPEAT.

Yeppers, being a mom is a huge part of the “Execumama” lifestyle, and we moms are undeniably a busy bunch! We pour our best work into our most important project—our family, and most times, we wouldn’t have it any other way!  After all, our families remind us of our vast capacity to love unconditionally.  But um…let’s keep it all the way real here: Love is only part of the equation.

The I.I.E. Equation
LOVE + PRESENCE + GRAIN = IDEAL INTIMATE ECOLOGY

Feeling short on time and long on to-do lists is a common Mommy gripe. Fine, we can’t put more hours into a day, but mama, we can absolutely embrace the imbalance and own our time! Want details? I thought you’d never ask! Let’s explore the equation to find our answer, shall we?

Fierce Love

Autopilot mode is for punks! Yea, I said it.  Even with crazy schedules, demanding jobs, marriages to be nurtured, and career paths to blaze, many of us remain quite present in our children’s lives.  We’re always paying attention.  How else would we hone our intuition for what our children need, get all Mama Bear and learn to protect their emotions, and develop the skill of loving our babies like our next breath depended on it?  In a sense, we fight our personal battles deep inside, so we can keep ourselves available to nourish our families and meet everyone else’s needs. Want to stop that? Read on for strategies.

Powerful Presence

It’s not lost on us that our presence impacts the energy in a room. Think about your own mother or grandmother, and how she brought the temperature with her wherever she went. You know how we roll!  We’re aware that we affect lives, and most of us take that knowledge seriously. We use it to empower, support, and impact our loved one’s worlds, and mostly, we’re good where presence is concerned.  But what about being present with ourselves?

Honoring our Grain

Now we’ve gotten to the missing component. We tend to extend outward with our love and presence, which leaves our own needs far from met.  I can tell you which socks my daughters wore on Monday, and why my youngest should wear her khaki skirt on Fridays because it makes her feel like a ballerina. We tend to have clear access to our family’s wants and needs, yet many of us need help accessing our own feelings.  Am I writing about you?

If so, you’re not alone. Self-neglect, particularly the emotional kind, is rampant in Mommy-topia. Newsflash, chica: A monthly mani-pedi is not self-awareness! Making sure you’re well put-together is cute and all, (because we love staying fly!) but it’s not enough.  Knowing how to access and explore how we feel and how to feel better, is vital to our ability to thrive not just as mothers, but as women.  Making time to define, design, and live your grain (aka your ideal daily flow) will make the difference between feeling consistently overwhelmed and undervalued, and living as your Highest Self.

Your Ideal Intimate Ecology

…is the combination of unique needs, activities, and points of focus that cause you to feel joy, value, and authentically in sync with what makes you happy.  Ask yourself these questions to start exploring your Intimate Ecology, then commit to using the answers to these questions as the cement to hold the elements of your day together.  This work is about creating room for your unique flow to be a part of your daily actions. Using these questions is the equivalent of looking into a mirror several times per day to complete the W.I.N.N. sentence: What I Need Now is…

In this very moment…
What am I doing that makes me feel guilty?
What would the little girl inside me say if I did this?
What would make me giggle incessantly?
Whose feelings am I prioritizing?
What do I deserve?
Do I need to eat something?
Have I assessed whether I can delegate more tasks?
Can I shut down 30 minutes earlier than usual?
Have I expressed to my partner that I need help with this task?
Do I want to answer that phone call?
Have I checked in with myself to see how this task makes me feel?
If I chose to honor my feelings, I would…?

Reminder:

Love works best when worn inside out. Start with Self, then let that love emanate to the rest of your world. Can you do that for yourself, mama? You can start here.