Execumama Online

It is said that the yoga pose “Warrior” addresses ways to deal with issues of fear and uncertainty, and in my weekly efforts to still myself enough to complete this pose, devoid of movement or distraction, I can definitely see that. I was raised by a Warrior Woman: my grandmother, Mavis Matthews. Later in life, when I moved to the U.S. to be with my mother, I encountered yet another iteration of Warrior Woman. They are all around us, and they are within us, always within reach when called upon and properly tended to.

I’m so excited about the launch of my Web site, www.execumama.com, later this spring. My in-house graphic design team (hubby) and I have been exchanging ideas and working our magic to make this exactly what it needs to be. I’ve been listening attentively to all the spirits that God has placed in my life to teach and guide me, and I am fervently observing my daughters in effort to maintain the level of fearlessness and certainty I need to take this significant step. Basically, I’m channelling my Warrior Woman and trusting her experience to guide me through.

I drafted a post a while back, and decided that this was the right time to put it out here for you/for me. It’s over at BlogHer, and I’d like you to check it out by clicking here.
As you read, I want you to think about whatever you’re working on right now, and how your Warrior Woman can help you achieve your best-case scenario results.

Had she not been my child, I would’ve been pumping my fist and hollerin’ in support of her decision to stand up for herself!! Unfortunately for her, the pride I felt will remain deep down inside (oh, and in this blog , lest she “get it twisted”. It was really difficult not to laugh out loud and hi-five her, but I held it together, because as far as she is concerned, her mother is kind of crazy, and um, that’s completely intentional. From time to time, just in case they forget, I call on my inner Angela Bassett/Sanaa Lathan, and put on my best acting skills via a one-woman show; Why My Mama Crazy?!, starring Akilah S. Richards.

Usually, our 4-year-old, dubbed “The Negotiator” will analyze, strategize and talk her way around any given dilemma. She needs explanations, and she looks for weak spots in an argument and pounces on them like her Mama at a shoe sale. Seriously, those of you who know her can back me up on this. The girl is a force! When observing her in a public setting, or even when I have the presence of mind to take a mental step back and pay attention to the way she manages her environment at home, I am usually happy for her because God has definitely given her a unique gift; a way of recognizing her power of influence, clearly conveying her expectations in words, and using it to coax her way through her world. I know that as an adult, after all the inevitable bout of teenage puberty-induced stupor,and after getting close enough to God and herself to tweak her bossy/if-you-don’t-agree-with-me-then-clearly-you’re-confused tendencies, (can’t imagine where she got that from??), she will be a woman of confidence, proud self-assertion…basically, that girl gon’ be ayyiiighht!

HOWEVER, what I witnessed a few moments ago, was straight up, typical 4-year-old emotional panic mixed in with the rebellious souls of her ancestors. Apparently, Marley came over from her play date next door to alert us that her friend was being “unkind and inappropriate”, so Kris told her that it was time for her and her sister to come inside. Apparently, Daddy’s timing was off. Sage, her younger sister, (known ‘roun these parts as Gangsta Boo) came inside after a brief pouting spell, but Marley couldn’t handle the thought of stepping foot on the front stoop, much less coming all the way inside, so she simply said, “No.”
Kris, visibly taking a deep breath, told her again:

Kris: Marley, come inside, remove your shoes, and wash your hands.
Marley: Daddy, no! I. don’t. want. to.
Kris: Do you really think that’s a good idea?
Marley: No, no, no, no, no!
Kris: Um, so you think that’s an effective way to get what you want? Are you thinking I’m gonna say “oh, okay, since you put it that way!”?
Marley: I’m not trying to make anything work any way, I just don’t waaaaant to come innnnn!
Kris: (Nodding his head, but remaining much calmer than I would’ve been) Marley, get in here
Marley: (jumping up and down with folded arms, crinkled brows, and a rather impressive mean mug)No! No! No! No! I said no, I said no, (deep breath) No! Nooooo!

At this point, snot and tears are raining down on our front stoop. I’m enjoying my perfect view from the couch, and I take a break from reviewing tax receipts, and seriously wishing I had popcorn–I wait to see how this intriguing story will unfold. Kris looks at her as if our child had morphed into something other than the sharp little firecracker he proudly calls his first born, and says in a calm but stern tone, “Marley, before you get yourself in trouble…”, and his tone was enough for her. She makes that ill-fated step into the house, leaving her freedom behind, and stepping into the world of uncertainty, sound-proof walls, and Caribbean parents with a pinch of traditional still in their blood. I’d hate to be her at this point, and she’s lucky my Grandmama isn’t here, because boy, she woulda…wait…what the…? Kris gives her a hug?!

He held her to his chest and kept repeating one word; “breathe”. What seemed to be an eternity later, she’s stopped dry-heaving and snot-wielding long enough to ask for something to eat. Whew! Crisis averted…today, anyway.

Kris sees a lot of himself in Marley, and I’m the first to admit that he’s usually better at dealing with her antics than I am. I tend to get very “oh she want it with ‘Kilah” when Marley won’t back down, which is most of the time. But (not so) secretly, I love that about her, and I hope she never changes. And if you ever tell her I said that, I’ll channel my inner Gangsta Boo, and you and I can go a few rounds!